We need to talk about the ‘midlife collision’…

Almost exactly one year ago I poured my heart out on LinkedIn about my own version of the ‘midlife collision’ and went viral (for the first, and possibly last time in my career!). See below for the post in full if you want to read it…

But what is the midlife collision and why should we care about it, talk about it, and support people through it?

Well, the term was coined by Dr Lucy Ryan in her book ‘Revolting Women: why midlife women are walking out and what to do about it.’

For many of us it arrives almost by stealth - a cluster of life-events that eventually pile on so much pressure that if one too many joins the pile, we break or burnout - it impacts our relationships, our work life, and potentially our health.

Perhaps it arrives when we are navigating the most senior and stressful roles of our career. Perhaps it aligns with menopause symptoms boing at their most pernicious. Perhaps a divorce or a bereavement is the thing that tips the balance.

But imagine if workplaces were set up to support their midlife employees at crunch point? Wouldn’t that be a game changer? Wouldn’t we be hugely loyal to those organizations that had our back when we needed it the most, and stakes were highest?

If you’d like to find out more about our programme ‘Holding up the Sky: How to survive the midlife collision without burning out” then please get in touch!

Feb 2024, LinkedIn:

“Can we stop calling it 'the Sandwich Generation' and start calling it by something more appropriate - like 'the Midlife Collision'? (credit for this term goes to Dr Lucy Ryan, from her book Revolting Women - which I heartily recommend - link here to my interview with Lucy last year).

At 51 I am fairly typical in juggling two school aged children (one a newly-minted teenager), two parents with complex chronic illnesses, my own symptoms of perimenopause (mainly wrestled into some semblance of control thanks to HRT and lifestyle changes), and running my own fledgling business (mostly started to give me enough flexibility to manage the aforementioned Midlife Collision without my head exploding...)

How many people in your organization are quietly managing their own version of this? Maybe it includes a painful divorce. A teenager with mental health struggles, or who can't be in mainstream schooling for other reasons. A partner with a chronic illness. Or bereavement. Or a whack a mole combo of all of those...

We are the glue that holds those families together. Often we are the glue that holds companies together - running ERGs, mentoring younger colleagues, making sure the life-events get celebrated, that colleagues feel included.

Supporting your experienced employees through midlife is about SO much more than 'just' menopause.

Our careers are Squiggly - we don't want to step down and step out (and nor can we afford to, with the pensions gap being what it is) - we deserve employers who 'get' this and champion us and support us when we need it most.

And in return? You get loyalty, and someone who will shout from the rooftops to their friends, family, and colleagues about what an amazing place it is to work, how they couldn't imagine going anywhere else.

Shall we talk?

[Pic shamelessly for attention - aren't they lovely? Not pictured... the strain of supporting someone with Stage 7 Alzheimer's Disease, the worry of what will happen when your 77 year old father gets a knee replacement, the 'Dadmin' (yes I just made that up) of helping manage finances, wills, house clearances, moving house, cataract operations, new radiators, why the DVLA website won't work, the fact that the faulty front door locked them out in fierce February weather, and on and on and on...and no, I'm not special, there are millions of us doing this, because the burden of care still falls disproportionately to women.)”